


You're Nothing But a Hedonist

by sheafrotherdon



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Episode Tag, Episode: S02e09 Ike Maka, M/M, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-12
Updated: 2011-12-12
Packaged: 2017-10-27 05:52:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/292335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheafrotherdon/pseuds/sheafrotherdon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny educates Steve in the possibilites inherent in Hollywood showers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're Nothing But a Hedonist

**Author's Note:**

> with grateful thanks to dogeared for beta!

"I still don't understand why your showers are so long," Steve says, like this is the conversation they've been having.

"I – what?" Danny asks. Companionable silence – they'd been driving along in companionable silence, the both of them a little the worse for wear after a shoot-out and a car chase and a foot race through Waikiki, and they had definitely, definitely not been talking about showers, or television after midnight, or the waves breaking repeatedly against the shore.

"Hollywood shower," Steve says with a dismissive little shrug of his shoulders, and Danny scrubs his hands over his face because this, this is nuts, this is lingo and code and he does not understand.

"Let it go," he suggests. "Just let it go."

"It's my water, Danny – "

"It's your _water_? What are you even – no, no, I do not want to know, I am tired, I am sore, and when I get back to your house – thank you, by the way, again, for the place to sleep, I appreciate it, I do – I'm going to take a – " he gestures in lieu of anything making sense " – _Hollywood shower_ , and you should nap. Really. For the good of humanity."

Steve screws up his face, his mouth pursed. "I don't get what you do in there. What could possibly take so long?"

Danny eyes him warily. "You don't – "

"I mean, unless you're jacking off every time, which – "

"I am not jacking off in your shower!"

"I'm just saying –"

"You want to know?" Danny asks, because honestly, really, perhaps this is one of those things they don't teach you in the military, one of the many and varied ways Steve McGarrett's brain doesn't work like that of a normal person. "You want to know, fine. First – " he ticks the items off on his fingers " – I do a general rinse. Surface-layer grime, dust, your usual, swirling down the drain. Second – " another finger " – I soap. Lather is important, a nice handful of suds, slow and thorough all over, I take my time. Another rinse. I pay special attention to some particular areas, 'cause let's be honest, who knows when someone's gonna have your balls in their mouth, be licking your asshole, and then – "

Steve frowns and blinks, glances over. "You're washing your asshole?"

Danny ignores him. "I make sure my hair's soaked right through and then I shampoo – front to back around the edges of the scalp, up and over the crown of the head, direction of the blood flow, best way to do it. A little conditioner – you can't be too careful, the salt, the humidity, they're brutal – and then a rinse. And finally, last of all, a little stretching, a little easing out of all the places my body hurts like a motherfucker after putting in a day with you on the job. That, my friend, is a shower."

Steve doesn't say anything for a while, pulls carefully into his driveway and turns off the engine. Then – "You're washing your asshole?" he asks again.

"Steve. Steven." Danny angles his body toward him, the better to answer, to hold his attention. "I cannot be the first person to suggest to you – by word or deed – that that's a very sensitive and enjoyable part of the male anatomy to have licked. And if I want someone to – "

He pauses. Steve is _blushing_.

Danny blinks to check his vision, then blinks again. "Ohhhhhhh," he says, awareness dawning. "Seriously? You've never – I mean I know _we've_ never, and that's okay, I have enjoyed everything we have done a very great deal, as I think you can testify, but _really_?"

Steve scratches his nose, looks out the window.

"Okay, all right," Danny says, "inside, right now, in the shower. C'mon, let's do this right," and he's out of the car before Steve's even opened his door.

"Danny –"

"Look – " Danny turns toward him, holds up both his palms. "You don't want me to lick your ass, that's fine, I have no problem with that . . ."

"It's not that." Steve shuts the car door, stands there – the man's all but squirming.

"Then what is it?" Danny asks, spreading his hands in a gesture of pleading. "Is this exhaustion? Is it? Because I know, I know, I snore, I get it, I'm sorry you had to kick me out so you could get sleep, I'm sorry the TV kept you up, but I understand, I do, I could use a nap myself. I'm just saying, this is – "

"Promise you won't tell anyone?"

Danny's left eye closes involuntarily. He squints at Steve. "About me licking your _ass_?"

Steve looks furtively right and left as he closes the space between them. "About the _shower_ ," he hisses. "It's not . . . Navy."

"Oh, sweet Jesus, help me," Danny says, and grabs Steve by the arm. "Tell people that you're – fuck, the things I contemplate for you, Steven, I swear to god."

They get inside without further incident, up to the bedroom – and Danny tries not to look at the nicks in the plaster behind the headboard; he promised he'd spackle those right up, but who has the time? And it's not like it's his fault alone that the plasterwork's gouged; last time he checked ,"God, Danny, your mouth," wasn't a directive to stop sucking cock and think of the drywall – and into the bathroom, strip down while the water's warming up, even if that does make Steve twitch.

But it's worth it – so worth it – to get Steve under the showerhead and force him to slow down, to teach him how to linger and lather and take his time. He gets jumpy and breathless when Danny's hands skate over his abs, shivery when Danny makes him duck his head so he can work shampoo into his scalp. Steve doesn't seem to know what to do, what to touch, and his hands shake, and he's grabby and swears when Danny angles his shoulders under the spray and makes him stand there until he's boneless with heat. He's wide-eyed when Danny soaps his balls, when Danny eases a finger into his crack, and then he's kissing Danny, sloppily, saying, "Danny, c'mon, want it, _now_ , c'mon." And Danny lets the kisses spin out just a little bit longer – because _god_ , the way Steve presses against him, the slide of his tongue – before he takes pity on him and turns off the water, towels Steve off and takes him to bed.

"Babe," he murmurs when Steve settles on his belly, trails a hand down Steve's spine as he kneels behind him. "You are gonna love this."

Steve shivers, hides his face in the crook of his arm.

It's not an idle promise – Danny licks the mineral taste of water from the dip of Steve's back and Steve groans quietly; he works lower and teases the pucker of Steve's pink skin and Steve rocks his hips against the sheets. He pushes his tongue into Steve's body, slick with spit, again and again, until Steve's huffing helpless moans into the pillow, twisting, vulnerable, shivering hard. Danny takes his time just like in the shower, licks and sucks and grazes his teeth gently over Steve's hole, curls the tip of his tongue once it's inside Steve, smiles against his skin when Steve trembles and swears.

"On your knees, come up a little," Danny whispers, and he coaxes Steve into place, gets a hand around his dick, and works him open with his tongue while his hand moves swiftly. Steve chokes and gasps and pushes back against Danny's mouth, mumbles things that make no sense when Danny thumbs the head of his cock. "I'm gonna – I'm gonna . . . " and then he's coming everywhere, spasming tightly around Danny's tongue, striping the sheets and his hand and the pillow, collapsing with his eyes closed, panting, when he's done.

Danny feels a little smug as he nudges Steve over onto his side, away from the wet spot, as he curls up behind him, knees pressed behind knees. "Okay?" he asks, and he's hard and aching and he's gonna have to see to that in a second, but for right now, this is good, the blissed-out look on Steve's slack face, the sharp scent of sex and sweat and coconut shampoo.

"Mmmmmmph," Steve groans, face mashed into the pillow.

"This," Danny says as he kisses his shoulder, "is why we don't take three-minute showers." And Steve laughs and shifts around in his arms, kisses him warmly, says, "Case closed," and matches Danny's smile.


End file.
